I never planned to do this, but I'll be getting more personal. But not too much, I wouldn't like that myself. If you don't want to know, I'd understand completely, just skip to the last paragraph please. Everyone should know that.
Well, the problem is, there are a lot of problems lately. First of all; I have a very weak body. I've talked about pain in my belly before and that I had to go to the hospital because of it to try to figure out what it is. The pain isn't so much anymore, exept for some times when it gets aweful again. But it's still there. But lately I have severe headaches quite often and just as often my legs hurt a lot too. The pain in my legs can be anywhere and it makes it hard to walk. Fun fact; I have to walk a lot for school but also at work. All that pain in my belly, head and/or legs is physically exhausting, but it's also breaking me down mentally and emotionally.
This causes another problem actually. Before I say anything, I want to say that I love my boyfriend more than I could ever say and I don't know what to do without him. But it's hard to tell him that I feel miserable. For some reason he always seems annoyed when I tell him I feel sad, so I don't tell him anymore. Also, when I talk about my depression (which I'm not completely healed from yet) he always say it will get better and I shouldn't stay stuck in the past. When I tell about a nightmare "it's just a dream". A few days ago (at school) I wasn't able to hold back my tears anymore so I faked I was feeling very sick. (My teacher even sent me home .... though at first he didn't want me to travel alone).
Right now I have a lot of stress. I'm still working on that project I've mentioned before and my projectpartner is aweful at times. I've spent so much time in it and things keep going wrong. Most of the time I was able to find a solution eventually, but then another problem occurs. I know people will say "just don't mention his name when yu hand in the project" or things like that. And I would, definitly, if I didn't actually need him. There are things I can't do for him. But I'm really afraid he won't deliver me his part in time and I won't be able to finish the project in time and I will get all the blame.
So, this was a quick summary of what's going on. There are also some small things, but then I won't ever be finished. It's just that it seems to be getting worse everyday. I don't know how long I'll be able to go on. It seemed to go so well before, I was actually happy most of the times because I had great classmates and even found (my first) bf who turned out to be perfect for me.... well exept for that things I've just mentioned. (Oh and he smokes, but I will make him quit one day =P). But now it looks like I'm falling back into that depression.
I know this isn't really the place to talk about these things, but I've noticed there are some amazing people here. I just needed a place to talk about this without anyone who could see me cry. (Yes, I'm crying right now. Stupid, isn't it?) The conclusion is: you people are great! =) I honestly will try to be here more frequently and also not to get so personal anymore. Next time I will talk about how this noob experiences smite. And for those who have read it all: thank you, that already means a lot to me.
Signing out.
And what comes to stressing, I really do know that feeling. But again writing helps a lot. I write everything I need to do next day/week up, so I can sleep careless and my stressy things can wait for me on the paper. This way I don't forget to do anything.
Carry on my friend and post whatever you feel like <3
It's good to have another blog from you Owl, so sorry to hear what you're going through.
I have friends with depression and know, from them, how important it is to have supportive people around you during the harder times.
Just know you're always welcome to share your feelings here, we're all rooting for you.
Hope you feel a little better soon
You actually like my blog? =P And thank you, I'm positive it will get better
Damn...I'm not sure whether I can say anything since I can't really empathize with you. I hope whatever happens in your life will turn out for the best. If you need someone to talk too then just pm me on here or try and catch me on Curse or Smite. Always happy to listen.
That's really nice of you. I think I will use your offer
I have friends with depression and know, from them, how important it is to have supportive people around you during the harder times.
Just know you're always welcome to share your feelings here, we're all rooting for you.
Hope you feel a little better soon
You can better look forward (especially to good/fun things) and don't worry to much
I dont consider myself great, just being me. A weird, kind, caring, and understanding person. I would consider you brave for even posting this on this public website.
Be strong on your journey through life. Peace.