April 11, 2016

My Personal Elegy

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So I have not done a blog in a while (An actual one mind you) so why not make it a bit personal? I used to to do this in the past in real life by sharing my diary and letting others writing in it as well, but there was privacy issues involved so that stopped.

Right now I consider my life to be "good". By good I mean stable, though that can get ruined so quickly. Family and school and whatnot. However some things have been plaguing my mind for a while and I just wanted it off my back so to speak.

1) I feel like my communication with people is a bit cynical and a bit of a downer. I feel like I speak to people in a *******y way, but that is just me being sarcastic in a sense. I seriously hope that everyone knows that I do care about them to the bottom of my heart, but some wont see that. All they will see is me being sort of a ****. And even worse is that people in school have been "jokingly" saying to call them if I ever shoot the school. It just pisses me off. I want to change myself but I want to also keep my self of "being".

2) I liked this girl for a while. I wont say her name, but she is younger than me and we go to the same school and the same club. You could say it is a crush of sorts, even if I make it blatantly obvious by hugging her from the back. But I had a history of "heartbreaks" like this before. I like someone, I cant say anything, and even when I try to, they leave. I guess you can say Im scared to lose another person like that.

3) Im lazy. I know this and Ive been getting better at this. But Im a Junior in High School, possibly the most important year while Im in the school, and Ive been ****ing up. My GPA is in the 80s, and it couldve been an 85 if I was not such a dumbass. I really want to go to college not just for the degrees and jobs and whatnot, but also for the experience, and I feel like I messed that up big time.

Ima just leave a link to a song Ive loved recently, and where I got the title. Elegy by Globus.

Peace. May life serve you well.