July 21, 2017

Kuzenboness Vol.1, A Kuzenbo Rant

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Kuzenbo  |  Skin  |  Beauty  |  Stunning
Right now, I suggest NOT even buying any Kuzenbo skins. I'm not even going to make an effort to buy him skins until he gets one that reflects what he needs.

That's maybe an overreaction, Depending on who you ask, But to me, Sex appeal is 100% a trait Kuzenbo needs to have in his skins. the only god who needs it 100% in his skins is Bacchus (oh, sure, and Kumbhakarna, happy r/smite?). but for Bacchus, he gets an arguably SEXIER skin each season... yes, it loses a bit of his beautiful default voice that is taken away, but they get a BETTER voice and it went up in sex appeal, and so... yay for Bacchus?

but see, Bacchus has very nice things going for his sex appeal, besides his sexy voice, he has:
A Fatter belly. Kuzenbo might have abs but that does not compare

A GLORIOUS belly flop, which Bacchus can use to majestically wack his enemies afterwards, all Kuzenbo has is his push.

An ult that IMMEDIATELY makes it easier for him to pick up girls by getting them drunk without consent, while Kuzenbo only pushes them away with his

A passive that gives him an excuse to drink and so makes him lose judgment of his sexual activities making him more desired,um... Kuzenbo only something with water,and ALSO Bacchus has water (wine)
in his kit.


The things Kuzenbo has going for him are the ability to double the fun with nenes and having smooth and absolutely outrageous skin, AS LONG AS HE CAN AFFORD GOOD SKINCARE AND HAS HIS NENE OUT. when he lacks the money to get skincare because people don't buy his skins and his nene is down, he's mostly screwed. yes, he still has those abs, but that doesn't compare to Bacchus's fat belly, as we discussed before. if he had a fat sexy belly in one of his skins and not a lame ninja turtle for his so called "pet", he would've been sexier. even if he had his nene out, he'll still have very low fat, again only in comparison to Bacchus's belly.

Was Bacchus considered s- in the sex appeal tier? yes, like Kuzenbo. but does Kuzenbo have sexy fat skins as much as bacchus does? no? THEN WHY DID YOU NOT GIVE HIM ONE??? Oh, I get it, you wanted a monster skin because you lacked one so much, right? no? Sobek and Ratatoskr's extremely "mild" and "not scary" monster costumes didn't fit your standard of BREAKING DUCKS'S MIND AND CAUSING HIM NIGHTMARES EVERY NIGHT? HUH? wait, they did? sold a lot? see them in a lot of games? people are praising them in reddit threads? Got it... even if you say your focus is to create is good balance between skin types, you really make sure those 2 people on reddit that you saw get so much monster skins that they can't breathe without buying another monster skin, right?

But then again... you say that the monster skins might be BETTER on a god like Ratatoskr and Sobek? that they don't need to buy expensive skincare, because they have armor/fur to hide their skin, because they don't rely on the ability to be absolutely flawless and sexy af as part of their main narrative?

Hi-rez, you want to do it the right way? No more ninja "skins" for Kuzenbo, Which you're SOOO smart at renaming it from a "T2". T4 and Quality! if you want to drop that extremely sexual amount of fat for Kuzenbo's nene's, why don't u just drop their bellies? If you want to avoid Kuzenbo having to go through a skincare problem, add some fat to his skins, or don't (cuz what do you care)... but GET HIM SOME SKIN PRODUCTS AND SEXY SKINS.

And if you don't like those options... how about bumping his skins's price up? changing it from 400 gems (which you absolutely robbed out of people's wallets for that disgusting "ninja" "t4") to 600 and doing NOTHING else will use that number of 10 year olds that have just discovered Kuzenbo's sexual appeal and force their mothers to buy the skin to get him more skin-care revenue.

Seriously..there is a another option..FATTER option...than what actually happened with those skins.

HR, if you honestly like sex appeal Kuzenbo's skins have, then i'm expecting a nice little buff to his belly, so he can actually score deals in prostitution and use them to buy new skincare products, and i got exactly the size it needs to be in order to up his sex appeal, if you are interested, thank you in advance.

Technotoad... give me a rant comic on this or something, lol.