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Not much to say about this, but the clay soldiers apply Ethereal Staff debuffs... so basically you are constantly crippling the other team, especially since the Staff was buffed recently. This build maximizes power, cooldown, and penetration. I regularly get top player and minion damage with this build.
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Instead of Sands/Pendulum, you could instead get Conduit Gem, opening yourself up to keeping Spear of Desolation if you like that item a lot, and even getting another 10% CDR item on top of that, such as Soul Gem or Staff of Myrddin.
Ethereal Staff is better later in the game, and I'd probably only get it on her if you needed some survivability. Other items are functional and should be considered, such as Divine Ruin if you need anti-heal.
The skill leveling you've stated is not optimal. Hopefully you prioritize correctly.
I tinkered around with the build a lot, as I knew it overcaps CDR after sands of time gets upgraded to pendulum of ages, but in arena you only really get to upgrade to pendulum near the end of the match -- and I like hitting max CDR as early as possible. I still think it's worth keeping pendulum for the passives -- basically unlimited MP and extra magical power. Changing to another starter makes it so you have to go back to the fountain to refill your MP more often, so I stuck with this build because in my experiments it seemed to max out my damage based on my (not very good) play style. The skill leveling is aimed at maxing out clay soldiers early to apply Ethereal staff as often as possible, stealing 4x 6% health from the other team. So in a sense I'm building her as somewhat of a support role to steal HP and MP from the other team while maximizing CDR early and, eventually, maxing out pen.
I think your suggestions make sense, especially for someone who is a better or more aggressive player than I am. But for casual players like myself, this build makes Nu Wa pretty easy and fun, as she is harder to kill (from the extra HP from ethereal) and can still inflict major damage.
If you have further thoughts in view of my somewhat sloppy explanation above, please let me know!
I would probably suggest swapping the places of Deso and Ethereal, for more early damage, CDR, and the nice earlier flat pen. Ethereal will start being more helpful esp against tanks as they build more tanky items with health, so a minor delay is fine to allow that. If you're able to delay further and grab the other damage items sooner, that's also optimal but I understand where you're coming from based on your explanation.
If you're putting a point into your ult whenever possible, you can max out your preferred priority ability by level 10. Typically for Nu Wa that would be Shining Metal. Then you can max out Clay Soldiers by level 14. If you prefer Soldiers first, just reverse that. But throwing points in a bit haphazardly is less efficient for your potential damage. I would definitely not put a second point into Mysterious Fog until you have to (level 15).
Anyway, the build overall seems fine, I would just tweak it a bit personally if I were to plan on getting Ethereal. I would also just consider the optional Divine in place of Deso and just deal with a bit less CDR, if anti-heal is needed.